Phoenix Monsoon Season is “Disappointing”

By July 6, 2009 3 Comments
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Monsoon Season 2009 premiered on June 15th.  Eager fans watched the skies, hoping to catch an action packed scene.  However, what they got was nothing short of disappointing.  The skies were virtually cloudless.  Fans of the monsoon quickly became alarmed.

“I scheduled my entire day around the premeire,” said Phoenix resident, An Flingnight.  “Last year’s season was OK, but I was under the impression that this season would ‘knock our roofs off.'”

An Flingnight wasn’t the only one under this impression.  Just last January, the producers of Monsoon Season 2009 acted as if this was to be their best season yet.  “I think this season will please fans more than any other season we’ve produced in the past,” said script writer, Ed Thrustnorm.  “We’re going to be bringing back several fan favorites from the past as well as some new twists.”

“We took ‘twists’ to mean something along the lines of tornadoes,” says Flingnight, as tornadoes aren’t a common sight in Arizona.  “But I haven’t even felt a breeze.”

Critics have taken the disappointment as an opportunity to bash this year’s season.

“I think the premeire was too early,” says weather critic, Rani Cudlo.  “Monsoon Season has always begun on the third consecutive day with a dew point above 55 degrees.  As a follower of the Monsoon Season, it looks like the writers got lazy.  Instead of having to keep track of the dew points, they just chose June 15th as an ‘easy start date.'”

The National Weather Service disagrees.  According to them, the set date of June 15th was to get peoples’ minds off the storms and more focused on safety.

“That’s a flat out lie,” says An Flingnight.  “Besides, the danger is the exciting thing about the Monsoon Season.  I’ve been known to plunge my car into a flooded area from time to time.  I’ve nearly died on a couple occasions because of it.  And guess what?  I got on TV.  It was worth it, and I’d do it again in a ‘lightning flash.'” *

Despite the safety claims, people are still finding this year’s Monsoon season to be a dud.

“We’ve only just started,” responds Ed Thrustnorm.  “People haven’t seen anything yet.  If you think that this year’s season isn’t worth following than you have fallen for our trap.  We want you to think that nothing is going to happen.  Just wait, we have a lot of ideas for the following weeks.  Expect some destroyed houses, flying chihuahuas, and a possible death of a public figure.  That’s all I’m saying right now.”

Fans say that they have been forced to watch boring programs because the Monsoon has been such a disappointment.

“I don’t know how much more ‘America’s Got Talent’ I can watch,” says Flingnight.  “It’s just too painful.  We want something exciting and unexpected.  Remember when it snowed in Mesa back in 2007?  We want something like that.  If the producers don’t get their act together before the Season Finale on September 30th, I just might stop watching.”

* DO NOT plunge your car into a flooded area.

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